Days of Deep Thinking

Gosh, where to start tonight? How am I even having time to blog? Well, I really don't have the time, but I have decided that you make time for the things that are important. And tonight, updating my blog is the number one task at hand. Not because it has been almost a month (eww, I can't believe I have gone that long) but because I am needing to spill my guts somewhere. Blogging is my form of relaxation...my runner's high. Blogger's high? Is that even possible? Sure.

School has been in session for three weeks now. And the past three weeks have kept me running at full speed. Literally. There is minimal down time in my current schedule. Between a weekly 15+ hours of class, working in Admissions, teaching piano, dating (multiple nights of the week), working out, and never-ending homework, there is never a dull moment. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one in the world with such a jam-packed schedule. Then I look at my roommates, my friends and my family, and they all have their own agendas that keep them going going going.

Luckily, I find a little time here and there (mostly on the weekends) to squeeze in a little free time. A few weeks ago, I went down to Provo with my roommates to watch the Young Ambassadors perform. I have a few friends that perform with the group so it was just delightful to get away for a night and enjoy good company, good entertainment, and good food.

Whit, me, Rylee, and Chelsea

Then last weekend I headed down south for the whole weekend. Whitney and Meesh were so sweet to let me stay with them for the weekend. I had an audition and interview down in Provo, so we made a whole weekend of it! In fact, I was able to experience my very first pedicure. I know, right? Pretty pathetic that it took 20 years for me to finally have one. And boy, oh boy! It was incredible. I still find myself looking at my toes. :) There is nothing like sitting in a massage chair while someone makes your feet look like a million bucks. And then we topped it all off with a little P.F. Changs and frozen yogurt at Yogurtland. Mmmm, what a wonderful night!

Meesh, Whit and myself indulging ourselves at P.F. Changs

And I have even tried to find a little bit of time to discover some new tunes. I have been listening to this song for the past week on a daily basis. It is called "Fine By Me" by Andy Grammer and couldn't be cooler! I love everything about it. So go crazy listening to this. Might I suggest a few others like "Love on Top" by Beyonce, "You Gave Me You" by Coffey Anderson, and "Stand Out" from A Goofy Movie. These are not necessarily new songs, just ones that have been blowing up my iPod the last week or so.

Fine by Me by Andy Grammer

Anyway, I mostly want to express what has been on my mind a lot the past month.

I feel like I have been doing a lot of deep thinking and contemplation over the past month, due to various reasons. How has there been time for that? I honestly don't know haha. But right now I feel like I am closer to my Savior than I have been for a while and continually desire to grow closer to Him. Some things have happened in my life that have made me remember a few important truths...

First: Trust in Him always.

This is something that I have a developing testimony on. Life can take us on unexpected pathways and throw some interesting curve balls. Sometimes the hardest part is knowing what to do in the future...knowing what decisions to make. Decisions of school, marriage, and careers are just the tip of the iceberg. Despite the craziness and stress that these choices can cause, there is so much comfort in knowing that the Lord has a plan for us all, and that He wants the best for us. All we need to do is trust Him. I have been in the midst of a big decision lately, and this has been a reoccurring theme that I have found through reading my scriptures, my patriarchal blessing, and in saying my prayers. I also had some really great advice given from a good friend of mine who is serving a mission. It was simple but very powerful. He told me:

"One of the thousands of things I've learned on my mission is that things work out the way the Lord wants, we just have to trust Him. "

I couldn't agree more. Which leads me to another thought that I have been reflecting on...

Second: The Lord's Will

Just like Brian said in his letter, things will work out the way the Lord wants. His ways are not always our ways, and one of the hardest things to understand in life is to accept that and be okay with it. Right now, I am at a point in life where I have no clue what my future has in store. Will I get a teaching job? Serve a mission? Get married? Who knows right now. My life could go in many different directions. But I want more than anything to do what the Lord wants me to be doing. Elder Robert D. Hales spoke on this in this past October Conference. He said,

"We may not know when or how the Lord's answers will be given, but in His time and in His way, I testify, his answers will come. Let us not give up on the Lord. His blessings are eternal, not temporary."

In a world and life where things are completely changing, the one thing that will never change is the Lord and His gospel. If my life was to completely flip upside-down, that would remain as a rock and my constant. The Savior is my best friend and will never leave me alone, as long as I come unto Him. I know without a doubt that my Heavenly Father and my Savior love me. They have blessed me too immensely to not. I don't know where I am going to end up in the next five years, but I do know that if I live faithfully, I will end up with those that I love for eternity. And that is enough to keep me going for now.

So here I am, ready to step one foot into the blind future, relying on the faith that the Lord will direct me where to go and help me in my decisions.

See? Told you that I have been having some deep thoughts lately. I'll try to be a little more light-hearted next time I blog. But sometimes the best way to organize and understand your own thoughts is to write them down. Or in my case, type them up. So before I sign off, here is a little picture that I snapped during my Provo weekend last week. It was pouring rain when I left, and I had a little down time before I had to get home, so I made a [second] stop at the Temple. Despite the old-school, 1970's architecture, it is truly a beautiful place with a beautiful spirit. It is the Lord's home and I can't wait to go inside one day. Well, until next time!

I love to see the Temple.
I'm going there someday.